The Strangest Halloween

The story below is my entry for the annual Halloweensie contest put on by Susanna Leonard Hill (find it here! ) and this year was my first year participating! It had a few conditions (which I love because it helps reign things in for me) such as stay within 100 words (hence the ‘weensie’ part! :), and I had to use the following three words somewhere throughout: werewolf, fright, and superstition. This one was FUN, friends! I hope you enjoy, “The Strangest Halloween”!

The Strangest Halloween

by Jenn Kim

99 Words

The pumpkins are out.

The lights are all on.

It’s Halloween night,

but everyone’s gone!

Not one single ghost.

No werewolf in sight.

There aren’t even monsters,

to fill kids with fright.

Where are the tricks?

Where are the treats?

Where is the laughter

to hear in the streets?

I miss being scared,

and superstitious.

This night has been strange—

very suspicious.

But then I see them,

a bush filled with eyes

I slowly walk up,

And hear a “SURPRISE!”

I jump and I giggle

When I see my friends

And now I just hope,

this night never ends.

The Grumpy Pumpkin

For this year’s #fallwritingfrenzy, I chose this picture: 🎃 to inspire a story. I saw all of the lumpy, bumpy pumpkins and immediately pictured a grumpy pumpkin in a patch who never gets picked (and that’s how he likes it). I thought it would be even more fun for him to have to sit next to a pumpkin who was the complete opposite of him—one who loved playing his role as a pumpkin in the fall. With a 200 word limit, it’s a wonderful stretching of the writing muscles! I hope you enjoy!

I’m so thankful for contests like this to exist. They’re free and sparks so much creativity for unagented writers. Also—the prizes from generous donors are amazing!!

Behold, THE GRUMPY PUMPKIN!

The Grumpy Pumpkin
by Jennifer Kim

“Ooh, here they come!”

“UGH. Here they come.”

Eddie and Hank were two very different pumpkins that grew up next to each other in the pumpkin patch.

Eddie dreamed of sitting on someone’s porch, watching swarms of kids walk by shouting, “Trick or Treat!” Hank dreamed of being left alone so he could sleep in peace.

Eddie loved being picked up and admired by every customer. Hank hated how people were always throwing him back down.

Eddie heard things like, “Look how round this one is!” Hank heard things like, “Why is it so bumpy??”

 Hank was happy he hadn’t been picked yet. He never wanted to leave the patch.

But when he saw a little girl eyeing him, he became VERY uneasy. He dug himself a little further down into the mud, trying to disappear.

To Hank’s relief, she bent down and picked up Eddie instead.

“He’s perfect!” she exclaimed.

About to burst with excitement, Eddie winked at Hank and whispered, “Goodbye, dear friend!”

“Better you than me!” scoffed Hank, stretching himself out.

As Eddie headed off to his new home, he looked back and could’ve sworn he saw Hank smiling.

I’m not antisocial. I’m overwhelmed.

There’s a difference.

We need to change how we talk/think about social norms.

Whenever I have a free moment, especially a kid free moment, I prefer to be by myself. The last thing I want to be is around people.

I’m not antisocial. I’m exhausted, and I love alone time. But I’m supposed to want to use, and give, my time with others.

I’ve found noise canceling earplugs are essential to get me through those extra loud days.

I’m not disassociating. I’m overstimulated and the earplugs dial the noise back just the right amount. But I’m supposed to be present with my kids and enjoy every second.

Oftentimes, when I’m talking to someone, I’ll look everywhere BUT their eyes.

I’m not disinterested. I’m anxious and concentrated eye contact intimidates me. But I’m supposed to engage, otherwise it’s rude.

Each of the these tendencies of mind are valid, but social norms and ableism say otherwise.

Social norms make people with sensory challenges, social anxiety, or those who just need a capital B-R-E-A-K, feel that this isn’t good or healthy. There is so much push out there to try and remedy this.

And it’s exhausting. It’s exhausting having to try so hard bc it’s considered ‘normal’ when everyone should get to live our lives how we want—how we need—and do it unapologetically.

Sometimes I love being with others. Wonderful family and friends can certainly fill my cup after spending time with them. But I should get to decide when I’m ready to embrace that fully.

Sometimes I love the shrieks of laughter and loud noises in my household. I’m not too overstimulated at the moment to be present with all of the life that is happening around me. But I should be able to seek a support need when I need to dial the noise down a bit.

Sometimes I want to look people in the eyes. Sometimes I like that connection. These are people that I feel the safest with. And I should be able to get to choose who I do, and do not, look in the eyes.

Social normals are ableist and outdated. And neurodivergent people would feel safe unmasking more if these social norms didn’t exist and they could live their life on their own terms.

I’m not antisocial. I’m overwhelmed. And that’s okay.

I watched you today

I wrote this piece one day after picking my square peg up from school last year. Like every other day, I waited at the gate, and saw him running towards me. Last year was a challenging year for my square peg, and knowing the specific challenges he was dealing with is what struck this chord. My writing isn’t always lightning in a bottle but when it is, it’s always when my heart is bursting for one reason or another and I have no other choice BUT to write. So when we got home that day, I immediately sat down and let the words pour out.

I Watched You Today

I watched you today
running, feet out
like a duck

You run like that everyday
but you aren’t running to me
you’re running from them

From the room where the walls close in
from the kids where their laughter mocks
from the teacher where his voice silences all

You’re running from the long lines,
and the ‘stop that’s’
and the ‘be quiets’

From the ‘not yets’
and the ‘stand heres’
and the ‘sit downs’

You’re running because they say
“no, not like that”

But you are like that

So you run

And now you’re free.

Okay, but WHY does middle school have to exist???

My oldest square peg went to middle school orientation last week. I. WAS. A. WRECK. Truly. I was spiraling and just couldn’t help it. He’s my first baby; my precious, sensitive child. How am I supposed to just let him go??

That wasn’t rhetorical. I need actual answers bc I have no clue how to, please and thank you.

I don’t think I’d feel this way if it were my second child going. That child is unfazed by almost everything in life and paves his own way. But my first baby—he’s just like me: anxious, rigid, and lover of all things home where he can be his truest self. But unlike me, he’s so brave and level headed. He’s so much smarter than me—not just at that age—now! He has this incredible world view that is so open and honest and curious and beautiful. I wish I were more like him when I was his age. Scared and hesitant but oh so bold. I can’t wait to watch him continue to grow more into who he is. I just wish it wasn’t frowned upon to follow him wherever he went… I mean, what’s so bad about that????

Come on Barbie, let’s go party

Pink shelfie in honor of the new Barbie movie hitting theaters last week!

I saw the Barbie movie this week with my family. All of us, even my 5 year old, loved it! I went into it with some pretty critical eyes for various reasons: Barbie’s problematic derivation and history, along with the movie being surrounded by white writers and main characters. I knew it was trying to be inclusive and tell an important story, but I also knew it was the from the lens of 2 white women, and so, I was optimistic but critical. And I ended up so pleasantly surprised by how much I loved it. Truly loved it. I cried, multiple times. While not perfect, it was an open and earnest attempt at correcting the wrongs. It was unapologetically feminist and spoke boldly of the patriarchy. I was so thankful my sons were there, possibly even more than my daughter, because they are the beneficiaries of the patriarchy—not her. She’ll grow up seeing and hearing me trying to dismantle the patriarchy and march my own way in this world, and hopefully, she’ll be even bolder and unapologetic than me. But it’s my sons that need to see the patriarchy on display, the harm it causes, and it being directly called out. They got to hear someone other than their mom and dad talk about it and why it’s so problematic. And I was thankful.

I also absolutely LOVED the sets for this movie. I was obsessed with Barbie growing up; obsessed with the accessories, buildings, cars, clothes, and to see so much pink plastic on screen was SO fun. The inner me was so tickled to watch the Barbies ‘eat’ and ‘drink’ in the exact same way I made them ‘eat’ and ‘drink.’

Barbie is not perfect. She never was and never will be. And there is even valid criticism for why it’s become so inclusive since it’s derivation (looking at you, capitalism). But the beauty of Barbie is that she can be whatever she wants. Isn’t that the point?

Earplugs are your friends

My house is loud. Like—LOUD, loud. Like I need to sit and stare at the wall in complete silence sometimes just to balance things out, loud. Like there are 5 of us and it’s as if we are all competing to who can be heard the most, loud. Spoiler alert, my youngest is winning because that girl has some LUNGS.

And I have sensory challenges with noise, so as you can see, this isn’t the most ideal environment for my poor, poor ears. Most days, my ears are ringing from the time I wake up, until the sweet sweet silence after bedtime.

I’m fine, everything’s fine. What’s that? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over all the fine-ness happening.

But ever since I realized that I could tune a lot of this out with my noise canceling AirPods, the noise has become a lot more bearable. (Side note: this is not a sponsored post, I’m just PROFOUNDLY grateful for this product.) Honestly, I need to just get really good earplugs because AirPods are expensive and earplugs do the exact same thing for a lot less $$$. But the noise canceling really does affect my mental health in very positive ways. I’m not as strung out when I don’t have to hear the exact decibel that is apparently required in sharing Paw Patrol toys. I can stay calm when I have to play referee, even though there are at least 2 children in my face at all times, passionately telling me why they are the victim and not the criminal in the situation. I can still hear everything, but it’s more muffled—it’s like it takes the edge off.

And it’s glorious.

So, if you’re like me and have sensory challenges, or you, too, have a ridiculously loud home, earplugs may just be for you! But get the good ones—you know the ones that squish and shape in your ear??

Hear that? Yeah, me neither.

“You can’t wear the same thing you wore yesterday,” she said while wearing the same thing she wore yesterday.

One of my square pegs does not care what he wears and will just put on whatever I lay out for him. The other square peg will either want to wear the same thing for days on end or will change about 5 times a day. Whenever I do laundry, it’s never a surprise by just how much more clothing he has because his basket is always overflowing, no matter when it was last emptied. It’s because he is determined to find the kind of clothing that feels the best. If it’s not comfortable, why in the world would he want to wear it?? And if he find a shirt or shorts that are PERFECT, why wouldn’t he wear them every single day?? I get it! I’m the same way! But I’ll never forget one morning before school, I saw him wearing the same outfit he had on the day before. I told him he should wear something else until I realized while I was telling him this, I was wearing the exact same thing I wore the day before. And I was wearing it because it was comfortable, quick, and not dirty. So I immediately went back on that and told him, “You know what? Never mind, I get it. Wear what you want to wear. I’m doing it, too.” So while clothing is always hard for us because a. I hate laundry and b. the phases of what works and what doesn’t come and go pretty quickly, I’m still going to let him do him when it comes to clothes. It’s just not a battle worth fighting, nor should I. We should all have agency over what we put on our bodies. Especially when we’re requiring them to do things that take them out of their comfort zone (school, friends, etc). And with that, I’m off to do laundry!

Well, hi!

Welcome to my website! Constructing this has been quite the feat and I’m sure I’ll be tinkering around with it for much longer.

BUT! You’re here, and I’m so glad you are. Thank you for checking this out and for your interest in learning more about anti-ableism, books, and my writing!

Here’s to more blog posts and less googling ‘how to add this and input that on a website.’ This is going to be fun! (Also, I’m not sure why the date says this is from 2019. It is not. It’s from 2023. See? Still tinkering :)