I’m not antisocial. I’m overwhelmed.

There’s a difference.

We need to change how we talk/think about social norms.

Whenever I have a free moment, especially a kid free moment, I prefer to be by myself. The last thing I want to be is around people.

I’m not antisocial. I’m exhausted, and I love alone time. But I’m supposed to want to use, and give, my time with others.

I’ve found noise canceling earplugs are essential to get me through those extra loud days.

I’m not disassociating. I’m overstimulated and the earplugs dial the noise back just the right amount. But I’m supposed to be present with my kids and enjoy every second.

Oftentimes, when I’m talking to someone, I’ll look everywhere BUT their eyes.

I’m not disinterested. I’m anxious and concentrated eye contact intimidates me. But I’m supposed to engage, otherwise it’s rude.

Each of the these tendencies of mind are valid, but social norms and ableism say otherwise.

Social norms make people with sensory challenges, social anxiety, or those who just need a capital B-R-E-A-K, feel that this isn’t good or healthy. There is so much push out there to try and remedy this.

And it’s exhausting. It’s exhausting having to try so hard bc it’s considered ‘normal’ when everyone should get to live our lives how we want—how we need—and do it unapologetically.

Sometimes I love being with others. Wonderful family and friends can certainly fill my cup after spending time with them. But I should get to decide when I’m ready to embrace that fully.

Sometimes I love the shrieks of laughter and loud noises in my household. I’m not too overstimulated at the moment to be present with all of the life that is happening around me. But I should be able to seek a support need when I need to dial the noise down a bit.

Sometimes I want to look people in the eyes. Sometimes I like that connection. These are people that I feel the safest with. And I should be able to get to choose who I do, and do not, look in the eyes.

Social normals are ableist and outdated. And neurodivergent people would feel safe unmasking more if these social norms didn’t exist and they could live their life on their own terms.

I’m not antisocial. I’m overwhelmed. And that’s okay.